Ambivalence and motherhood. Why it’s natural to love your kid, but hate some things about motherhood. It’s fine. Really.
Category: Parenting
I love, I hate. Peace after accepting ambivalence.
All mothers know this. That the love we have for our child is so intense and all-consuming that it’s spectacular and terrifying in its power. Yet it’s rare we admit that what motherhood gives us, so too can she take away… Depression… A few weeks after my daughter was born I was hit with severe postpartum […]
A mother’s need for control in a pandemic
I sometimes parent as if my daughter and I are one person with the same anxieties and needs. And yet Taylor is a thousand times more self-aware than I was at her age.
How my two very different playgroups saved me
Perhaps during our earliest mothering years our friendships are born because we reflexively cling to each other. Drawn together like forceful magnets by a love for our children so new, powerful and terrifying we can’t possibly imagine how we’ll survive. Yet sometimes we gradually grow apart for reasons that aren’t obvious or unkind or even […]
The split mind of postpartum depression
Originally published on Motherwell In a quiet, distant voice I tell my husband Mark that I want to die. Not exactly dead, I clarify, but not this. I tell him not to worry. I tell him love, guilt, duty will always matter more. I promise. But he has to understand, he has to reconcile what I’m saying […]
The day I realized I pushed my college daughter too far
Originally published on Grown and Flown One of the few demands I gave Taylor when she started college (besides work hard, be safe and guard your Solo cup at parties) was that she graduate on time. No child of mine was going to be a professional college student, someone who never quite figures out what she […]
4 parent myths about college admissions
Originally published on Mother.ly If you have a college-bound kid, I know you’re feeling it. The anxiety. The competition. The intensity. The bombardment of well-meaning but sometimes conflicting advice from other parents. I almost lost my mind trying to keep up with the list of do’s and don’ts of college admissions. The fact is, requirements […]
On Grown & Flown
I’m delighted I found Grown & Flown, a website and blog about parenting older kids (ages 15 to 25). Grown & Flown recently published my essay “Why I Stopped Worrying If My College Daughter Was Lonely” Tina is a thousand times more self-loving and grounded than I was at her age. This is probably why […]
Trash TV: When kids catch you in the act
The other night my daughter looked over me lying on the couch. “What are you watching?” she asked. I guess I fell asleep in front of some movie called “House Bunny.” I need to be more careful when I watch trash. My daughter is of the age (nearly 17) when she sees herself as my morality […]
British study shows kids of working moms just fine. Here’s why.
Photo credit: wilpf.org The Brits know. Quality childcare is key. Maternity leave, essential. Studies had shown that children born to career mothers in the 1970s, 1980s and early 1990s did not perform as well, with their literacy and numeracy skills about two percent lower. But the latest research by Heather Joshi of the University of London’s Centre […]