Ambivalence in motherhood. Part 1: When you’re a “different” kind of mom
What happens when you feel like a “different kind of mom?”
Despite feeling grateful to be at home with my daughter, try as I might, I didn’t fit the mold. Despite joining numerous playgroups, despite having date nights with my husband, mom’s night out, etc.
Why we need to have real conversations about our ambivalent feelings and find moms who understand (find your tribe who gets it, who gets you).
Why having feelings of ambivalence has nothing to do with how much you love your children (zip, zero, nada).
Why you’re “allowed” to have childcare even if you’re a stay-at-home-mom (gasp!).
Ambivalence in motherhood Part 2: Changing the definition of “selfish”
Why I put my daughter in two half-day pre-schools although I was at home (oh the comments!)
Accepting the type of mother you are, even if you’re different from other moms (self-acceptance).
Bottom line but what we never tell mothers:
Mom needs to be as happy as her kids. Change the definition of “selfish” to “filling” self, to caring for yourself. This is excellent role modeling for your kids, especially girls.
I’m not suggesting you ignore your kids’ needs and put yours ahead of theirs. Of course not. Parenting demands sacrifice. I’m suggesting a radical paradigm shift that says, “my needs count too,” and acting on it.
It’s important to acknowledge and accept that ambivalence—even hating motherhood sometimes, is normal.